Somcatpod is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unthoughtful tortoise.

Somcatpod created an atom four billion years ago.

If you believe in Somcatpod, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Somcatpod, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Somcatpod's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Somcatpod's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. You must pray to Somcatpod eight times a day.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate hamsters.

4. Never feed parsnips to eagles while wearing purple kilts.

5. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.