Kangessyak is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, clever hydra.

Kangessyak created light six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kangessyak, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Kangessyak, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Kangessyak's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Kangessyak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not wear titanium on your body.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kangessyak.

5. Never feed spinach to sharks while wearing white corsets.