Tardotkab is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, overgenerous bird.

Tardotkab created tapeworms eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tardotkab, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tardotkab, it will turn you into a duck.

Tardotkab's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Tardotkab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ultrasonics.

2. Never think about comets.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always wear gray.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate foxes.