Parkstanlandad is a god.

It takes the form of a small, calm monkey.

Parkstanlandad created the Sombrero Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Parkstanlandad, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Parkstanlandad, it will be mildly annoyed.

Parkstanlandad's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Parkstanlandad's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never think about dark matter.

3. Do not keep four ants in a large pit.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Parkstanlandad on top of all buildings.