Futmissigmid is a god.

He takes the form of a small, fussy whale.

Futmissigmid created the world twelve years ago.

If you believe in Futmissigmid, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Futmissigmid, he will torture you forever.

Futmissigmid's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Futmissigmid's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never write about gravity.

3. Never think about galaxies.

4. Do not hurt snakes.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.