Vogomtxuc is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, unthoughtful horse.

Vogomtxuc created the Sunflower Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Vogomtxuc, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vogomtxuc, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Vogomtxuc's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Vogomtxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.

2. You must pray to Vogomtxuc seven times a day.

3. Erect three lead sculptures of Vogomtxuc on top of important buildings.

4. Always treat doves with great respect.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.