Dosshastargtimgessyam is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, witty salamander.

Dosshastargtimgessyam created time and space nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Dosshastargtimgessyam, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dosshastargtimgessyam, he will remove you from existence.

Dosshastargtimgessyam's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Dosshastargtimgessyam's Holy Commandments

1. Dosshastargtimgessyam loves gulls, so they must be respected.

2. Never feed wheat to eagles while wearing hats.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.