Hadpigsidzan is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, grumpy clam.

Hadpigsidzan created a strange quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Hadpigsidzan, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hadpigsidzan, she will have a low opinion of you.

Hadpigsidzan's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Hadpigsidzan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep three rats in a large pit.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never go into violet rooms.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never talk about archaea.