Baffosstig is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, uncaring hyena.

Baffosstig created Africa three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Baffosstig, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Baffosstig, it will refuse to believe in you.

Baffosstig's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Baffosstig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never eat tomatoes.

4. You must love Baffosstig.

5. Do not eat strawberries.