Fitlablog is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, humorless pig.

Fitlablog created a photon two billion years ago.

If you believe in Fitlablog, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fitlablog, he will be very sad.

Fitlablog's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Fitlablog's Holy Commandments

1. Seals are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Hide if four otters approach from the west.

3. Never think about dark matter.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not shave your face.