Piggemart is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, competent yak.

Piggemart created light eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Piggemart, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Piggemart, it will have a low opinion of you.

Piggemart's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Piggemart's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Piggemart's priests.

2. Never think about quantum field theory near ants while wearing pink hats and balancing five gold spheres on your neck.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate birds.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never pour water over plants.