Tenstipbarn is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, flying cow.

Tenstipbarn created oxygen eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tenstipbarn, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tenstipbarn, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Tenstipbarn's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Tenstipbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never go into black rooms.

5. Always stare at clouds.