Quatsigciss Witsinont is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unfair wyrm.

Quatsigciss Witsinont created a top quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Quatsigciss Witsinont, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Quatsigciss Witsinont, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Quatsigciss Witsinont's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Quatsigciss Witsinont's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry manatees.

2. Always obey Quatsigciss Witsinont's priests.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never laugh in the presence of foxes.

5. You must never eat beans.