Aftimdin is a god.

She takes the form of a small, dishonourable cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Aftimdin created dark energy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Aftimdin, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Aftimdin, she will turn you into a dog.

Aftimdin's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Aftimdin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.