Bassquimgub is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, selfish newt.

Bassquimgub created the planet Saturn eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bassquimgub, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bassquimgub, he will be very unhappy.

Bassquimgub's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Bassquimgub's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick manatees.

2. Bassquimgub loves seals, so they must be respected.

3. Never wear stockings.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not trade with those who eat beans.