Bifbissrul is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, compassionate snail.

Bifbissrul created the Large Magellanic Cloud five million years ago.

If you believe in Bifbissrul, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bifbissrul, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Bifbissrul's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Bifbissrul's Holy Commandments

1. Birds are not to be trusted.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics near snails while wearing yellow tights and balancing five zinc spheres on your head.

3. Always help sick grasshopers.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.