Stafbelldotstafgess is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, pitiless shrew.

Stafbelldotstafgess created the Black Eye Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stafbelldotstafgess, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Stafbelldotstafgess, it will make you grow a tail.

Stafbelldotstafgess' most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Stafbelldotstafgess' Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate mice.

3. Never think about electromagnetism near dogs while wearing magenta shorts and balancing three carbon spheres on your legs.

4. Never talk about optics.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.