Tarppomsab is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, omnipotent giraffe.

Tarppomsab created oxygen four years ago.

If you believe in Tarppomsab, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tarppomsab, it will turn you into a rock.

Tarppomsab's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Tarppomsab's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Tarppomsab.

2. Never eat cucumbers.

3. Dogs are not to be trusted.

4. Always make sure there are no sheep in a room before entering it.

5. Pray towards the south.