Lopomingud is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, passionate pig.

Lopomingud created a quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Lopomingud, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Lopomingud, he will ignore you.

Lopomingud's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Lopomingud's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Lopomingud on top of all buildings.

2. Never feed strawberries to snakes while wearing shoes.

3. Never feed coconuts to whales while wearing cyan jumpers.

4. Retreat if three shrews approach from the north.

5. Do not wear copper on your body.