Zakonttan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, all-knowing shrew.

Zakonttan created tapeworms three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zakonttan, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Zakonttan, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Zakonttan's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Zakonttan's Holy Commandments

1. Always help aardvarks in need.

2. Do not wear black clothing.

3. Never wear hats.

4. Hide from yellow sheep for they are unholy.

5. Never wear magenta skirts.