Rutlabbig is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, narcissistic cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Rutlabbig created the solar system six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rutlabbig, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Rutlabbig, she will turn you into a tree.

Rutlabbig's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Rutlabbig's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in the presence of mites.

2. Always help horses.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not drink alcohol.