Gadtigsaw is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, vain gnu.

Gadtigsaw created gold three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gadtigsaw, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gadtigsaw, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Gadtigsaw's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Gadtigsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick swans.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never wear orange corsets.

4. Never look at dwarf planets.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Gadtigsaw.