Yarpkembid is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, astonishing gerbil.

Yarpkembid created time and space five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarpkembid, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Yarpkembid, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Yarpkembid's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Yarpkembid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep eight sharks in a large pit.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Always make sure there are no frogs in a building before entering it.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not take Yarpkembid's name in vain.