Tam Kabrakdut is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, self-confident wolf.

Tam Kabrakdut created the Large Magellanic Cloud six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tam Kabrakdut, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tam Kabrakdut, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Tam Kabrakdut's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Tam Kabrakdut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep five ducks in a large pit.

2. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not shave your chest.

5. You must pray to Tam Kabrakdut nine times a day.
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