Dognelltarg is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, narcissistic porpoise.

Dognelltarg created the solar system three billion years ago.

If you believe in Dognelltarg, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dognelltarg, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Dognelltarg's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Dognelltarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in the presence of whales.

2. Never think about spacetime near dogs while wearing red stockings and balancing three tin spheres on your arms.

3. Put Dognelltarg first in all things.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Run away if four badgers approach from the south.