Matloopparkragtimgan is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, awesome owl.

Matloopparkragtimgan created a down quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Matloopparkragtimgan, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Matloopparkragtimgan, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Matloopparkragtimgan's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Matloopparkragtimgan's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear kilts.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Run away if four swans approach from the north.