Jarnsigfub Bafmobwik Bedlamtigbig is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, duplicitous hippopotamus.

Jarnsigfub Bafmobwik Bedlamtigbig created an atom eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnsigfub Bafmobwik Bedlamtigbig, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jarnsigfub Bafmobwik Bedlamtigbig, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Jarnsigfub Bafmobwik Bedlamtigbig's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Jarnsigfub Bafmobwik Bedlamtigbig's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Worship no other gods but Jarnsigfub Bafmobwik Bedlamtigbig.

5. Always help pigs in need.