Cimganquag Dablimrakjap is a god.

He takes the form of a large, kind camel.

Cimganquag Dablimrakjap created the planet Mars four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cimganquag Dablimrakjap, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Cimganquag Dablimrakjap, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Cimganquag Dablimrakjap's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Cimganquag Dablimrakjap's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never feed lentils to porpoises while wearing white shoes.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never go into blue rooms.