Sterhasxem Fonxuckved is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, egotistical jackal.

Sterhasxem Fonxuckved created a photon eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sterhasxem Fonxuckved, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Sterhasxem Fonxuckved, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Sterhasxem Fonxuckved's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Sterhasxem Fonxuckved's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your feet.

2. You must never eat lentils.

3. Retreat if nine nematodes approach from the east.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never hurt ducks.