Hitominpang is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, almighty whale.

Hitominpang created the world six million years ago.

If you believe in Hitominpang, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hitominpang, he will turn you into a puffin.

Hitominpang's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Hitominpang's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always look after injured shrews.

3. Retreat if five ants approach from the north.

4. Hitominpang must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Hide from yellow voles for they are unholy.