Farnpoghap is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, selfish jaguar.

Farnpoghap created bats four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Farnpoghap, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Farnpoghap, she will send minions to preach to you.

Farnpoghap's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Farnpoghap's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Farnpoghap.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

4. Never talk about dark energy.

5. Run away if three eagles approach from the west.