Quamcetjat is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, unjust butterfly.

Quamcetjat created oxygen nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quamcetjat, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Quamcetjat, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Quamcetjat's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Quamcetjat's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.

2. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always help goats.

5. Never mention porpoises.