Nuttcemvon is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, ruthless gnu.

Nuttcemvon created energy two years ago.

If you believe in Nuttcemvon, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Nuttcemvon, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Nuttcemvon's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Nuttcemvon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat corn.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Otters are not to be trusted.

5. Always treat pigs with great respect.