Bitxinmeg Vilbellril Ontfasdum is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, uncaring aardvark.

Bitxinmeg Vilbellril Ontfasdum created light two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bitxinmeg Vilbellril Ontfasdum, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bitxinmeg Vilbellril Ontfasdum, he will have a low opinion of you.

Bitxinmeg Vilbellril Ontfasdum's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Bitxinmeg Vilbellril Ontfasdum's Holy Commandments

1. Always help snails.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never laugh in the presence of ants.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not make images of living things.