Zedratlen is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, idiotic lizard.

Zedratlen created a top quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedratlen, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Zedratlen, he will be very sad.

Zedratlen's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Zedratlen's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat manatees with great respect.

2. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Never mention turtles.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.