Dogbabart is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, grumpy snake.

Dogbabart created bats six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dogbabart, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dogbabart, he will manifest in front of you.

Dogbabart's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Dogbabart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Erect a large iron sculpture of Dogbabart on top of all buildings.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never sprint in the presence of cats.

5. Never hurt seals.