Jopbagtail is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, conceited crow.

Jopbagtail created oxygen five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jopbagtail, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Jopbagtail, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Jopbagtail's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Jopbagtail's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not sing in public.

3. Never feed lots of coconuts to nematodes while wearing green corsets.

4. Never talk about solid mechanics.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.