Cepfunkab is a god.

It takes the form of a large, dishonourable rat.

Cepfunkab created energy six million years ago.

If you believe in Cepfunkab, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Cepfunkab, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Cepfunkab's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Cepfunkab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not skip in public.

2. Learn eight new languages a year.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not kill bats.

5. Do not drink water in violet rooms.