Gonxucgat is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, irritating hedgehog.

Gonxucgat created gold seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gonxucgat, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gonxucgat, he will not care at all.

Gonxucgat's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Gonxucgat's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if four seals approach from the south.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Run away from mauve porpoises, for they are unholy.

4. Always help snakes.

5. Do not hurt geese.