Arfgonved is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, humorless shark.

Arfgonved created matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arfgonved, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Arfgonved, he will remove you from existence.

Arfgonved's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Arfgonved's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not dye your hair blue.

3. Never write about ultrasonics.

4. Erect six copper sculptures of Arfgonved on top of important buildings.

5. Always make sure there are no horses in a building before entering it.