Zigpadnat is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, self-assured goat.

Zigpadnat created the universe six million years ago.

If you believe in Zigpadnat, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Zigpadnat, it will turn you into a worm.

Zigpadnat's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Zigpadnat's Holy Commandments

1. Learn eight new languages a year.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Never look at comets.

4. Never feed parsnips to seals while wearing shorts.

5. Never look in ponds.