Lopbinceb is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, sage dingo.

Lopbinceb created the Small Magellanic Cloud three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lopbinceb, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Lopbinceb, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Lopbinceb's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Lopbinceb's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate gulls.

2. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Lopbinceb in the centre of the settlement.

3. Learn six new languages a year.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never talk about moons.