Lamlargvid is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, flying narwhal.

Lamlargvid created the Milkyway two billion years ago.

If you believe in Lamlargvid, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Lamlargvid, he will remove you from existence.

Lamlargvid's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Lamlargvid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Always stare at clouds.