Lakrantom is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, wise swan.

Lakrantom created the planet Venus seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lakrantom, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Lakrantom, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Lakrantom's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Lakrantom's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in magenta.

2. Do not sing in public.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Put Lakrantom first in all things.

5. Pray towards the west.