Cetfligtail is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, self-confident seal.

Cetfligtail created an atom six billion years ago.

If you believe in Cetfligtail, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Cetfligtail, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Cetfligtail's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Cetfligtail's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Learn three new languages a year.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never go into violet rooms.