Lakdanten is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, witty manatee.

Lakdanten created the world two years ago.

If you believe in Lakdanten, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Lakdanten, she will be mildly annoyed.

Lakdanten's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Lakdanten's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no foxes in a building before entering it.

2. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

3. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.