Jonmilhab is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, tranquil shark.

Jonmilhab created life eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Jonmilhab, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Jonmilhab, she will destroy your favourite star.

Jonmilhab's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Jonmilhab's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never talk about dark energy near whales while wearing red boots and balancing seven silver spheres on your feet.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not dye your hair black.