Hotjinyarlcam is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, astonishing grasshopper.

Hotjinyarlcam created a down quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Hotjinyarlcam, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Hotjinyarlcam, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Hotjinyarlcam's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Hotjinyarlcam's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear scarves.

2. Never think about cell theory.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never wear cyan hats.