Quatmobhitcabweeyatfob Cumflapkan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, dishonest wren.

Quatmobhitcabweeyatfob Cumflapkan created tapeworms two years ago.

If you believe in Quatmobhitcabweeyatfob Cumflapkan, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Quatmobhitcabweeyatfob Cumflapkan, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Quatmobhitcabweeyatfob Cumflapkan's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Quatmobhitcabweeyatfob Cumflapkan's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into white rooms.

2. Run away if five voles approach from the north.

3. Never laugh in the presence of dolphins.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.