Flatdamyikvog is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, charitable slug.

Flatdamyikvog created humankind six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flatdamyikvog, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Flatdamyikvog, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Flatdamyikvog's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Flatdamyikvog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never think ill of sick ducks.

3. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Flatdamyikvog in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never sit near badgers.

5. Never look in ponds.